Dr. Christi Monk

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Stop The Bullying, Start The Building: Workplace Bullying

Workplace Bullying

Stop The Bullying & Start The Building: Workplace Bullying 

Women are too often made the butt of the joke, the targets of unwanted contact and the victims of a toxic workplace environment. Workplace bullies take all forms and, if we let them, prevent us from reaching our ultimate potential as heroes of our careers. Are you being bullied at work? If you are, do you know your rights?

Is it really bullying?

Sometimes emotional abuse can be veiled in jokes or unrealistic demands and expectations. Workplace bullying can take the form of arbitrary deadlines, off-hand remarks, sexual harassment or unsolicited evaluations of your work quality. A boss may schedule meetings you don’t know about, demand work be completed in an unrealistic time frame or make snide jokes about your appearance. Don’t let your boss or coworker control you in this way, and don’t let the emotional strain of workplace bullying bleed into your non-working life. Take control of the situation, forget any notion that you’re complicit in mistreatment and call the situation for what it is: workplace bullying and a pathetic attempt to suppress your success. By standing up to bullies, women like Gretchen Carlson became their own champions in hostile environments by sharing their stories and outing their bullies.

Should I tell someone?

Once you recognize you’re being bullied, you should find someone you respect and trust to confide in. Not only can a trusted accomplice validate your unfair treatment, but they can also help you navigate the next steps. If possible, a good support system will include at least one coworker in addition to friends and family.

Some workplaces have a Contact Officer to address workplace harassment, bullying or discrimination. If your workplace has designated a Contact Officer, he or she will be an objective observer who understands your office environment’s protocol for dealing with bullying issues. You might also tell your supervisor. You can’t assume your supervisor is privy to the nuances of workplace politics. Once your supervisor is aware of the situation, he or she can intervene on your behalf.

If your bully is your supervisor, you may have to contact an external organization or upper levels of management with your issue. Traditionally, you would report to your supervisor’s immediate supervisor. If your workplace has a human resources department, they can handle your complaints privately and discretely. You may also choose to enlist the help of a lawyer.

WorkSafe ACT is an oversight organization to ensure your workplace handles your complaint fairly.

You have a right to have support from your workplace!

You also have the right to the emotional and psychological support you deserve while you navigate the red tape of your complaint. Workplace EAP programs can offer counselors and therapists. If you have to go outside your workplace for help, you should be reimbursed for mental health services. You also have the right to discretion and privacy.

Take control of your circumstances and your career by acknowledging you are being bullied, reporting appropriately and accessing the support you deserve!

Click Here to learn more about workplace bullying.

XOXO,

Dr. Christi

Be Confident, Be Bold, Be You!

Dr. Christi Monk is the founder of the Workplace Survival Institute which helps organizations build a culture of “connectedness”. She is also the founder of The Confidence Suite which teaches women how to tap into their core value system so they are more effective, confident and productive contributors in the workplace and their communities. She received her doctoral degree in Management of Organizational Leadership Studies and is certified in Conflict Resolution and Workplace Mediation. Her published work is entitled Workplace Bullying – In Search of a Clearer Definition. Dr. Monk is a certified trainer from the Workplace Bullying Institute.

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You Have Been Bullied and You Don’t Even Know it

You Have Been Bullied and You Don’t Even Know it

What are you feeling when you walk through the door of your workplace in the morning?

Next time you go to work, try pausing a moment before you walk through the front door, or even in your car in the parking lot. Try to examine your feelings.

What are you feeling?

Is it a feeling of distant dread? Muted anger? Slight-though-noticeable disappointment?

Sadly, none of these negative feelings would be unusual at all. It’s true that work is work, and shall forever be something we ordinarily wouldn’t choose to do. That’s why we get paid to do it. It’s work.

But that reality shouldn’t add up to a creeping, or overwhelming dread.

If that’s how you’re feeling, it’s possible you are getting bullied in the workplace, and you might not even know it.

The Invisible Bully

Oftentimes, bullying comes in very subtle ways. Your work is negatively compared to that of others – some of whom might not even work there any longer. You’re assigned a task that has proven deceptively challenging to everyone who’s taken it on, but with the expectation that it’s a “piece of cake.” You get nasty stares when notifying coworkers and superiors that you will be taking paid time off to tend to an important personal or family matter. You feel rules are selectively applied to you – rules you know favored employees ignore with impunity. You hear stray comments about the way you dress, or other elements of your personal style.

All of these should sound very familiar to most who have spent years in the workplace. They are manifestations of aggression; statements of dominance. They destroy the collaborative atmosphere that should inhabit every workplace. They cause absences, sickness, poor performance, and retention problems. Eventually, the customer is affected, because everything in a workplace eventually affects the customer.

It Starts with Awareness

Thus, it’s your duty to be aware of bullying in its various forms – even the invisible ones. It starts with asking yourself that simple question at the start of each day, just before opening the door.

“How does this place really make me feel?”

If you are interested in having Dr. Christi provide a workshop to your business please CLICK HERE.

XOXO,

Dr. Christi

Be Confident, Be Bold, Be You!

Dr. Christi Monk is the founder of the Workplace Leadership Institute which helps organizations build a culture of “connectedness”. She is also the founder of The Confidence Suite which teaches women how to tap into their core value system so they are more effective, confident and productive contributors in the workplace and their communities. She received her doctoral degree in Management of Organizational Leadership Studies and is certified in Conflict Resolution and Workplace Mediation. Her published work is entitled Workplace Bullying – In Search of a Clearer Definition. Dr. Monk is a certified trainer from the Workplace Bullying Institute.

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When Your Boss Is Your Friend – Pros and Cons

When Your Boss Is Your Friend. Dr. Christi Monk

Due to the fact that you spend so much time in the office, it is only natural to develop a few friends along the way. But, what happens if one of those friends happens to be your boss? Sure, being friends with the boss does bring some perks that others are not entitled too, but could this relationship end up biting you in the end?

It’s a Risky Relationship

If your boss is personable in any way, forming a relationship with them may come easy. You may work long hours and have to spend a great deal of time together. While forming a relationship with your boss definitely has its advantages, it also has some disadvantages. First, if your boss is friends with you, it can make any discipline difficult. You may expect more out of your boss and be upset when they cannot deliver. Actually, this relationship has the potential to ruin your job or your career if allowed. So what is a person to do when they like their boss but like their job too?

Setting Boundaries

For starters, if you are friends with your boss, you need to have boundaries. He or she will have to lay down the law from time to time. They still have deadlines and quotas to make and whether you are their friend or not that is one thing they cannot let their guard down on. Do not expect special treatment. You cannot expect your boss to give you the day off when people with higher seniority asked first. Additionally, you cannot expect them to be lax with your work requirements. They also have a job to protect and they cannot always protect you if you are slacking. Remember, in most cases your boss will choose their job over yours. So do not ever put them in the position to have to choose.

What It Does To Other Employees

Other employees may not like the fact that the boss has a “pet.” They may call you names like a “brown-noser” and things of this nature. They may also suggest that you get special privileges and can even go to higher management for such issues. If you and your boss are friends, its best to keep the friendship out of the workplace and meet after work. Of course, if your company has a fraternization policy, meeting after work can cause trouble too. However, when you keep the friendship out of the public eye; the less you give people to talk about, the better off you will be.

To Friend or Not To Friend

A boss can throw a few perks your way too. If they know you are a hard worker and seem to always have your back, having an ally in the workplace is never a bad thing. Whatever you do, make sure to include and have other friends in the workplace too. If people see you as one who is always with the boss and no one else, they may feel that you are spying on them for the boss. You want a harmonious work place. If you must be a friend to your boss, include others or do it on your own time. It just makes things easier.

Be Confident, Be Bold, Be You!

XOXO,

Dr. Christi

Dr. Christi Monk is the founder of the Workplace Survival Institute which helps organizations build a culture of “connectedness.” She received her doctoral degree in Management of Organizational Leadership Studies and is certified in Conflict Resolution and Workplace Mediation. Her published work is entitled Workplace Bullying – In Search of a Clearer Definition. Dr. Monk is a certified trainer from the Workplace Bullying Institute.