March 1 is the first day of #Women’s History Month. We will celebrate the accomplishments of women from the past, present, and future. The world may not infamously know many of us, but that does not dictate the level of power and influence we have in our environments. 2017 was a pivotal year for the voice of the woman. Women have begun to walk in their ability by using their voices to change how women are viewed and treated #globally.
I concur with #Oprah’s Golden Globe message that so eloquently highlights that women will no longer be held hostage to their truths out of fear of a man and his power. For decades women have always displayed the ability to think strategically, build key relationships, be excellent communicators, inspire others, use their passion and commitment to drive positive change, and are good at making decisions. These are just a few characteristics that can be intimidating to a man.
This article is not to male bash. The intent is to show women how much power they innately have. The real meaning of being a #powerful woman is to stand boldly in your truth. When women stand in their truth, they have full control over their lives.
How do you think women can #standintheirtruth?
I will share my thoughts tomorrow.
I am Dr. Christi Monk, an organizational leadership expert and a certified personal life coach. Welcome to my blog!!! I cannot wait to help other women transform into the women they have been predestined to be. I am so excited about my journey and assignment that I have trouble sleeping.
Like you, I was unhappy in my personal life and even more frustrated professionally. There is no feeling worse than being surrounded by people who think that you have it all together especially when they look to you for validation and clarification in their lives. Yet, I often felt alone partially because I was afraid to show my inadequacies and share what I was most fearful of (After all, I just couldn’t let the people down…lol)
After seeking coaching myself, I have been able to take the steps to do what I have been purposed to do. The funny part is that we think that certain things will be easy, but the reality is once you start taking a look at who you have become, you become sad. The good news is you should be sad because we all have let others take our God given destiny to make it fit their personal needs. You may ask why is she sharing this…First a few good women who I value dearly said to tell my story (oh and a story it is)…
Well, you guessed it, that’s how Finding The Real You was birthed. AND COACHING DOES WORK!!!
I finally took a bold stance to stop letting others define my path and worked to unravel the mistruths that I had succumbed to personally and professionally. I have been able to find the “real me” and my newfound freedom is unexplainable!!! Let me partner with you on a journey of self-discovery and transformation to finding the real you. You will be glad you did.
My question to you is: Have you ever had a moment in your life when the light bulb just clicked and you just can’t help but chuckle at the thought of you not realizing how you missed something that was right before your eyes? There have been times in my life when I simply didn’t know how I missed the obvious…
One day my pastor asked me a question that sparked this journey of self-discovery…”Christi are you whole as a single?”…. Like many of us, we think that we are ok and say to ourselves “there ain’t nothing wrong with me; it’s them, not me” (yes, I know that is grammatically incorrect but work with me here).
Oddly enough I did finally realize that there was something wrong with me. My journey as a child was to always make good grades and to be a good example for others. God forbid that I do something wrong; you would think that it was the end of the world.
Our childhood experiences begin to shape who we are as adults (good, bad, or indifferent). I was blown away by my first coaching session. Talk about self-discovery…I learned things about myself that left me speechless after the first 15 minutes of the conversation. The most frightening part of this transformation journey was having to look at my past.
That was 5 years ago which is indicative that it takes time to learn to love yourself so that you can effectively be able to be the real you. This first step to finding the real you is to REVIVE….
Webster’s dictionary describes revive as to make operative or valid again. Another great definition is to restore to life.
Each week I will share stories from my life and share with you how I found the real me. I will share the strategies I developed that helped me get unstuck so that I could experience total freedom from the life others created for me.
Stay tuned to learn how I was able to get revived…
Before we jump start our work week or walk in this journey called life – we all need daily reminders that we can repeat to ourselves to help build and maintain our confidence. Simple repeat these daily affirmations each day of the week and watch how your attitude about work, life and yourself changes!
7 Daily Affirmations That Will Build Your Confidence
- I acknowledge my own self-worth, my confidence is soaring.
- I am free of worry and am at peace with who I am.
- I matter. I am allowed to say no to others and yes to myself.
- I am BRAVE, CONFIDENCE, BOLD & STRONG!
- I believe in myself. I deserve to accomplish my goals.
- I trust that my intuition will lead me to the right path.
- My voice has infinite power in this world and I believe that God is here to guide and support me!
It’s time we start believing in ourselves and in our work! For more confidence tips and ways you can amplify your influence, please feel free to reach out to me and let’s talk!
Women and confidence should be a synonymous phrase but, unfortunately, that is not the case. Most women struggle with confidence and find it difficult to be effective and influential in the workplace. This lack of confidence may also transcend to a woman’ personal life as well. However, it is possible to become a confident woman even if you are lacking in self-confidence. Confident women in the workplace are productive and effective workplace contributors. We all know this is true.
The question that I often asked is “what can I do to become more confident?” The fact of recognizing that you lack confidence is the first step. Just because you do not have confidence doesn’t mean that you cannot obtain confidence. When you recognize a lack of confidence as a challenge rather than a weakness, you make it more realistic to conquer. Most people have heard the phrase, “fake it until you make it.” This phrase came about for a reason; you have to keep trying and building yourself up to gain confidence.
It is proven that the first thing you need to do to achieve self-confidence is to stop talking negatively to yourself. Negative self-talk is not good for your heart, your soul, or your mind. Instead of saying I can’t do this or that, say, I know I can do this or that. Never tell yourself you are not worthy of a promotion or award or that someone else deserves it more than you. Accept that you are valuable and worthy with grace and be proud of yourself.
Take baby steps and learn to be kind to yourself. When you learn to encourage yourself, you will find that you learn to be confident. Changing your thought process to a positive perspective is sometimes challenging, but very rewarding in the end. Surrounding yourself with positive people and influencers. By being around people you admire you will learn to emulate their positive self-talk and positive outlook. Confident people will build you up instead bring you down.
Eliminate or minimize the presence of negative people in your life. Negative people want others to share in their misery. When you surround yourself with positive, confident people, you set yourself up for confidence and success. You can learn how to rock your influence, confidence and self-esteem with ease. It takes some work, but you can do it. Everyone has it within themselves to become confident. It’s about attitude and perception rather than lack of ability.
If you need to get a coach or a confident friend to help you, do it. You own your development.
It is always your choice to be confident. This doesn’t mean you have to know everything. It just means that you have to open yourself up to possibilities and to change. When you find yourself empowered by your own self-confidence, you will find you become more successful in the work place and in your personal life. You will find that you are effective and you do have the ability to influence others. There is always someone who secretly wishes they were you. So why not be the best you?
Becoming a self-confident woman means you offer up the best of yourself and you bring out the best in others. Sometimes the little changes you bring about blossoms into success for other women. When women decide to become more confident, they make a conscious choice to claim their worth. When you realize that you choose your reactions and over your emotions, you begin to gain confidence simply knowing you can change and be confident and influential in any situation.
At the end of the day, knowing your worth and carrying yourself with the confidence of that knowledge with a handful of courage can be all the help you need to keep yourself out of toxic relationships.
Click here for more ways gain confidence!
Be Confident, Be Bold, Be You!
Dr. Christi Monk is the founder of the Workplace Leadership Institute which helps organizations build a culture of “connectedness.” She is also the founder of The Confidence Suite which teaches women how to tap into their core value system so they are more effective, confident and productive contributors in the workplace and their communities. She received her doctoral degree in Management with an emphasis on Organizational Leadership Studies. She is certified in Conflict Resolution, Workplace Mediation, Workplace Bullying, and Change Management. Her published work is entitled Workplace Bullying – In Search of a Clearer Definition.
Dealing with Toxic Relationships
It is important to state from the beginning of this discussion about toxic relationships that every human being on this great planet has every right to be treated with dignity and respect. No one should be treated any less than anyone else. There is no one person higher than another. This is the crust of what we will be discussing in this post.
What Does a Toxic Relationship Look Like?
There are many ways to diagnose a toxic relationship. The best way to determine whether you are in one or not is to evaluate how you feel in the relationship. Do you feel good when you are with that person? Do they uplift you or tear you down? Are you energized or drained in this person’s presence? These are clear indicators of whether your relationships are healthy or toxic.
A toxic relationship looks poisonous from the outside and feels worse on the inside. A toxic person is someone who drains you of all your energy just by being near you. They are excessively negative, judgmental, narcissistic, self-absorbed, and oblivious to anyone’s feelings outside of their own. They can be takers who suck the life out of others and give nothing in return. They can also exhibit entitlement type behaviors.
How to Handle a Toxic Relationship
Toxic relationships in our personal life can be difficult to remove ourselves from because most of the time there is an emotional component added to the situation. In a work environment, how we perform and how tasks are accomplished can be gauged by the types of relationships you have with your co-workers and supervisors.
Ridding yourself from a toxic relationship will take guts and energy, but it is worth it in the end because the amount of energy a toxic person can take from you is far greater than the amount you have to put out to get rid of them.
The best way to handle a toxic person in your work environment is to stand tall. People are less likely to attempt to walk over someone they feel will have the confidence to stand up to them. Should a toxic person make an attempt to disrespect you in some way, nip the situation in the bud from the onset. The sooner you address a situation, the better chance you will have to avoid a bigger problem in the future. Most of all, stick to your value system. Never let someone compromise who you are as a person and what you believe. Stick to your guns. You deserve to be valued, respected, and appreciated. Command respect through your own actions.
At the end of the day, we all want to feel like people appreciate us. No one wants to be made to feel like they do not matter, are worthless, and useless. Knowing your worth and carrying yourself with the confidence of that knowledge with a handful of courage can be all the help you need to keep yourself out of toxic relationships.
Click here for more ways gain confidence!
Be Confident, Be Bold, Be You!
Dr. Christi Monk is the founder of the Workplace Survival Institute which helps organizations build a culture of “connectedness”. She is also the founder of The Confidence Suite which teaches women how to tap into their core value system so they are more effective, confident and productive contributors in the workplace and their communities. She received her doctoral degree in Management of Organizational Leadership Studies and is certified in Conflict Resolution and Workplace Mediation. Her published work is entitled Workplace Bullying – In Search of a Clearer Definition. Dr. Monk is a certified trainer from the Workplace Bullying Institute.