Hello friends. It’s me again…I am here to pick up where I left off last time…(I was on vacation but I am back and ready to continue to share my journey of how I found the real me).
Like many of you, I never received any type of coaching or counseling from a trained professional. Well, that’s if I don’t count the managers that I have had over the years and we all know how those conversations typically go… lol
One aspect of my first coaching session was to look at my life as a child. One of the questions asked was about my family birth order. I am the oldest girl and second child of four. When I reflected on the dynamics of many family structures the oldest daughter is often the most responsible and in my opinion that’s simply because it is taught. So naturally I learned to be the responsible one, which transcended me to becoming emotionless because so many people were depending on me to always be on point. Who am I relating to?
My Aha! Moment
The first shocking moment of who I had become was realizing that I learned NOT to be in touch with my emotions. Oddly enough, as a little girl I cried all of the time (but this was before I was handed the torch of being the role model for my siblings).
Why is this important? I am glad you asked.
As I grew older and obtained more responsibilities personally and professionally, I began to view crying as a sign of weakness. Not crying became a defense mechanism for me. Instead of crying I learned to withdraw from the situation…most times completely.
One of the things I will never forget during this session was being told that my feminine side was never nurtured. Ouch… and what does that mean?
As time went on, it began to make sense. I began to understand why I responded the way I did in certain situations and relationships, especially in those situations in which I would be viewed as weak or vulnerable. This probably was the most hurtful but freeing moment in my walk of revival.
What is revival?
We often associate the term revival as a religious term. Revivals typically go on for a series of days. This time is set aside for people to get refreshed – to chart a new course; the ability to breath fresh air again. But how long does that last? Life looks good and feels good for the moment. The good news is revivals are a great start to transforming how we think and feel.
After being laid off of two jobs twice in a row, I began to realize my life was definitely off balance or shall I say, I was not being the real me. I couldn’t see it with my physical eyes, but I was able to feel that things were changing in my life. I did not know where to start or what to do. But this coaching session was the beginning of how I found the real me.
Next week I will share moments how my childhood beliefs began to shape my beliefs as I became an adult.
Until next time…download my first 7-day challenge to Finding the Real You and share my website with a friend.