Women and confidence should be a synonymous phrase but, unfortunately, that is not the case. Most women struggle with confidence and find it difficult to be effective and influential in the workplace. This lack of confidence may also transcend to a woman’ personal life as well. However, it is possible to become a confident woman even if you are lacking in self-confidence. Confident women in the workplace are productive and effective workplace contributors. We all know this is true.
The question that I often asked is “what can I do to become more confident?” The fact of recognizing that you lack confidence is the first step. Just because you do not have confidence doesn’t mean that you cannot obtain confidence. When you recognize a lack of confidence as a challenge rather than a weakness, you make it more realistic to conquer. Most people have heard the phrase, “fake it until you make it.” This phrase came about for a reason; you have to keep trying and building yourself up to gain confidence.
It is proven that the first thing you need to do to achieve self-confidence is to stop talking negatively to yourself. Negative self-talk is not good for your heart, your soul, or your mind. Instead of saying I can’t do this or that, say, I know I can do this or that. Never tell yourself you are not worthy of a promotion or award or that someone else deserves it more than you. Accept that you are valuable and worthy with grace and be proud of yourself.
Take baby steps and learn to be kind to yourself. When you learn to encourage yourself, you will find that you learn to be confident. Changing your thought process to a positive perspective is sometimes challenging, but very rewarding in the end. Surrounding yourself with positive people and influencers. By being around people you admire you will learn to emulate their positive self-talk and positive outlook. Confident people will build you up instead bring you down.
Eliminate or minimize the presence of negative people in your life. Negative people want others to share in their misery. When you surround yourself with positive, confident people, you set yourself up for confidence and success. You can learn how to rock your influence, confidence and self-esteem with ease. It takes some work, but you can do it. Everyone has it within themselves to become confident. It’s about attitude and perception rather than lack of ability.
If you need to get a coach or a confident friend to help you, do it. You own your development.
It is always your choice to be confident. This doesn’t mean you have to know everything. It just means that you have to open yourself up to possibilities and to change. When you find yourself empowered by your own self-confidence, you will find you become more successful in the work place and in your personal life. You will find that you are effective and you do have the ability to influence others. There is always someone who secretly wishes they were you. So why not be the best you?
Becoming a self-confident woman means you offer up the best of yourself and you bring out the best in others. Sometimes the little changes you bring about blossoms into success for other women. When women decide to become more confident, they make a conscious choice to claim their worth. When you realize that you choose your reactions and over your emotions, you begin to gain confidence simply knowing you can change and be confident and influential in any situation.
At the end of the day, knowing your worth and carrying yourself with the confidence of that knowledge with a handful of courage can be all the help you need to keep yourself out of toxic relationships.
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Be Confident, Be Bold, Be You!
Dr. Christi Monk is the founder of the Workplace Leadership Institute which helps organizations build a culture of “connectedness.” She is also the founder of The Confidence Suite which teaches women how to tap into their core value system so they are more effective, confident and productive contributors in the workplace and their communities. She received her doctoral degree in Management with an emphasis on Organizational Leadership Studies. She is certified in Conflict Resolution, Workplace Mediation, Workplace Bullying, and Change Management. Her published work is entitled Workplace Bullying – In Search of a Clearer Definition.