Dealing with Toxic Relationships
It is important to state from the beginning of this discussion about toxic relationships that every human being on this great planet has every right to be treated with dignity and respect. No one should be treated any less than anyone else. There is no one person higher than another. This is the crust of what we will be discussing in this post.
What Does a Toxic Relationship Look Like?
There are many ways to diagnose a toxic relationship. The best way to determine whether you are in one or not is to evaluate how you feel in the relationship. Do you feel good when you are with that person? Do they uplift you or tear you down? Are you energized or drained in this person’s presence? These are clear indicators of whether your relationships are healthy or toxic.
A toxic relationship looks poisonous from the outside and feels worse on the inside. A toxic person is someone who drains you of all your energy just by being near you. They are excessively negative, judgmental, narcissistic, self-absorbed, and oblivious to anyone’s feelings outside of their own. They can be takers who suck the life out of others and give nothing in return. They can also exhibit entitlement type behaviors.
How to Handle a Toxic Relationship
Toxic relationships in our personal life can be difficult to remove ourselves from because most of the time there is an emotional component added to the situation. In a work environment, how we perform and how tasks are accomplished can be gauged by the types of relationships you have with your co-workers and supervisors.
Ridding yourself from a toxic relationship will take guts and energy, but it is worth it in the end because the amount of energy a toxic person can take from you is far greater than the amount you have to put out to get rid of them.
The best way to handle a toxic person in your work environment is to stand tall. People are less likely to attempt to walk over someone they feel will have the confidence to stand up to them. Should a toxic person make an attempt to disrespect you in some way, nip the situation in the bud from the onset. The sooner you address a situation, the better chance you will have to avoid a bigger problem in the future. Most of all, stick to your value system. Never let someone compromise who you are as a person and what you believe. Stick to your guns. You deserve to be valued, respected, and appreciated. Command respect through your own actions.
At the end of the day, we all want to feel like people appreciate us. No one wants to be made to feel like they do not matter, are worthless, and useless. Knowing your worth and carrying yourself with the confidence of that knowledge with a handful of courage can be all the help you need to keep yourself out of toxic relationships.
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Dr. Christi Monk is the founder of the Workplace Survival Institute which helps organizations build a culture of “connectedness”. She is also the founder of The Confidence Suite which teaches women how to tap into their core value system so they are more effective, confident and productive contributors in the workplace and their communities. She received her doctoral degree in Management of Organizational Leadership Studies and is certified in Conflict Resolution and Workplace Mediation. Her published work is entitled Workplace Bullying – In Search of a Clearer Definition. Dr. Monk is a certified trainer from the Workplace Bullying Institute.